I wonder how much time has passed since I’ve felt this way. The feeling on elation nestled in the very depths of my heart and the tingling sensation of excitement in my teeth and stomach!

I’m studying again! And most euphoric part? I’M STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY!

I don’t even know why I’m looking forward to being able to study again. I can’t even begin to recall how I absolutely detested studying. I even detest the thought of me thinking about studying! In years to come, if people were to re-label the seven deadly sins, they would be gluttony, pride, greed, jealousy, wrath, lust and RACHEL. That’s how sloth-like I am.

BEWARE! I am a deadly sin!

I think it’s because teaching is starting to bore me. And the most important part is I’m finally getting to study something I’ve really liked ever since I was born (it’s just a figurative expression so let’s not get airy-fairy over such insignificant phrases). I don’t know how I’m going to survive the studying process again but I’m hoping I’ll suddenly have the zeal to study. It’s not stupid because that’s almost the same thing as those people buying a lottery ticket and hoping a huge amount of cash will just fall from the sky. Huge enough to crush their homes, they fervently pray. Moreover I don’t want money! I just want to love studying (hyperventilates at the thought)!

Maybe it’s because I’m going to study psychology. *pops the champagne!* I can’t control my excitement! This week has been a pretty hectic week with all the teaching and helping out with Ah Po’s funeral which means having to stay over at the void deck of their house and not sleeping for 2 sessions of 48 hours! I should be drained and highly irritated but apparently I’m still in high spirits albeit being a little confused with my mental and physical states. I’ve been waiting for SIM University’s reply for so long, praying and hoping I’ll get a positive reply. When I finally received the letter telling me I was accepted I was momentarily confused. Then the bubble of euphoria grew and expanded and filled my entire existence. Since I was so happy, I went around announcing an apparently insignificant news to everyone and they all said exactly the same thing:

It suits you. Psychotic people study psychology.

What is this?! I don’t deny that I show some signs of high-ness and insanity at certain times but something is very wrong when everyone views you in the same psychotic way. Family members, friends and even acquaintances! I seriously need to rethink my life. But aren’t people like me extremely indispensable and in want? We bring joy and excitement to everyone’s life! And to quote Charlie Bartlett’s t-shirt, “People like you are the reason why people like me need medication”. So in actual fact, everyone else is the problematic one. Not me.

This is an extremely redundant post which does not serve to document any bit of the excitement in me at all! It’s too hard to materialise and pack those teeny bits of excitement into one big ball that I can feel and keep with me forever. It’s like a beautiful reflection in the water. The moment I touch it, it disappears into ripples.

I wonder how long I can swim in such euphoria before someone bursts my bubble and sends me back to reality.

*Here’s a shout out to Jason (or whoever) from Giz! I’m sorry I have no tech related posts but it doesn’t show my lack of passion for gadgets! I just, err, choose not to blog about it!